Boteah Tries but Fails in his Perry Reich Advocacy

Photograph of Ms. Reich in the "Not This" Campaign

Rabbi Shmully Boteah famously promised to Pearl Perry Reich that he will personally intervene on her behalf in her custody battle. He was a bit tardy in following through on this promise, according to Ms. Reich, at first ignoring her calls. But he finally did come through to her.

Last weekend, he stayed in Lakewod over Shabbat at the house of an affluent and prominent member of the Lakewood community who happens to be pro-Sinai Susholz, Ms. Reich’s husband and adversary. He came to Lakewood specificaly to plead with leadership there to come to terms with Ms. Reich’s quest for custody rights.

As he well articulated on the Dr. Phil show, R. Boteah asserts that Orthodoxy does not condone forced marriages and it insists that children grow up with both their parents. After verifying that Ms. Reich was raising her children in conformity with general Jewish principles, he declared it against proper Orthodox practice to deny her custody rights over such trivial matters as wearing pants, not covering hair, etc…

And so on Saturday evening, he sat down with Mr. Susholz to try to convince him to agree to mediation of the custody battle. Unlike arbitration, mediators are not empowered to enforce any decision. It’s simply an affirmation by the parties to come together in good faith to try to resolve their differences.

But Mr. Susholz soundly repelled R. Boteah’s peace overtures. Mediation would merely have been a way for him to save face while accepting an arrangement that would more or less give Ms. Reich the partial custody she is presently trying to obtain through legal action.

Mr. Sucholz is adamant not to budge an inch. He even refuses to grant a religious divorce unless and until Ms. Reich completely renounces any intention to pursue custody rights. From the Facebook page established in his interest –though reportedly not run directly by him or his associates– it seems that his concern is mostly about the moral edification of the children. With a mom well-immersed in liberal secular culture, even high fashion, he fears that the children will not develop a healthy and coherent sense of proper and improper, right and wrong. He and his proxies insist that it’s not religion per se they’re concerned about, but the moral compromise evinced by a mom who brings home boyfriends late at night and struts around in high heels and mini-skirts.

However, in the aforementioned Facebook page, those who appear to be acting in his behalf have embarked on a campaign with a “Children need a stable home, not this!” theme, accompanied by a prurient picture of Ms. Reich. They, thus seem to be trying to defame her personally. Or perhaps it is a sordid and ignoble way of providing Kosher pornography to the masses, shrouded in the name of keeping the children away from the mom, all the while entertaining the masses with lecherous photos.

And where’s Mr. Susholz in this maelstrom? He seems aloof, content to allow his proxies to run the ad hominem attacks while pretending not to be cognizant of it, Aaron Teitelbaum style. If his children’s moral rectitude is of utmost priority to him, how does such a campaign play into it, we ask, when his children invariably discover it sooner or later.

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20 Responses to Boteah Tries but Fails in his Perry Reich Advocacy

  1. pearl reich says:

    thanks jacob for the amazing articulate intelligent work.

    • jb says:

      how do just that photo, when you tell dr. phil you are orthodox, even in the real modern sectr youl never see this!!! whats with the double standard? whats your agenda?

  2. David says:

    hey, while R Boteach was in Lakewood for the holy Shabbat where was his woman he is married to, Ms Reich? She was with her atheist OTD boyfreind for Shabbat.

    • Chaya says:

      Whats wrong with her being with her boyfreind for the shabbat even if he is atheist — what is the agenda here?

  3. Jacob says:

    Is Sinai still married to ms reich and if so how could she be with her boyfreind & other men whilst still married? and the picture of her (I guess this picture is of ms Reich with her boyfreind) is whilst she is still married to her husband and she is publicly with her boyfreind ??? Wow!

    • das torah says:

      well she is still married…and her husband maintains she is off the torah path….and she has been sleeping with other men…in that case there is aishes ish going on…according to many poskim he is required to give a get due to lifnay eever…but now he doesn’t want to give her one unless she relinquishes her custody…but oh…she could care less about the get now….so that power he had at one time is useless….all he has is threat of sole custody

  4. reality says:

    1. Pearl has BPD. She has been previously hospitalized. Giving her pity and pacifying her behavior is harmful and only encourages further destructive behavior.

    2. She has neglected her children ,leaving them with teen babysitters who spent more time with their own boyfriends than her kids. ( On one occasion- going to a hotel for a weekend with her children, and observers noted how she pawned off her kid to any passing teen so she can lounge at the pool , text ( on Shabbos) , and talk to her boyfriend. The children got lost, and one almost drowned due to her negligence.

    3. She has turned away from parents, close friends , and siblings who love her beyond belief ( calling them all brainwashed and victims of religion) and in turn ,has embraced a group of people that condone her lifestyle ( Her manic state does not allow her to see things reasonably)

    4.Her physical health is ruining her wellbeing. Her exposure to drugs\alcohol as well as her lack of sleep due to constant hangovers and multiple nightly visitors, coupled with a previous eating disorder and the public scrutiny she has put herself under is dangerous.

    5. She continually manipulates the public by convincing them that she still believes in Judaism -but then flaunts pictures of her half naked body as well as pictures of her and her rebellious child boy toy.

    6. She cannot provide for these children. Not financially . ( no paying job) Not emotionally ( she is not emotionally available and is in a weak stressed state) and not with stability. Her confusing double standard is catching up to her each passing day. The mixed messages her children are getting are simply due to her heightened state of mania which isn’t allowing her to maintain a unified message for the sake of the children

    7. She impulsively ran to every media outlet and fooled the public into buying her tale. As she suffers the ramifications of her overexposure, she cries foul and makes excuses due to past circumstances. Bottom line- she is THIRTY and has not even acknowledged her errors and continues to live in a state of denial surrounding herself with toxic influences. Her ex, on the other hand has acknowledged his contribution to the demise of the marriage. He has surrounded himself with positive guidance, and keeps a connection to HER parents for the sake of the children’s best interest. While she has gone on an all out smear campaign against him and her community for months before this group even formed, and has done NOTHING to improve her dangerous behaviors.

    8. Pearl is a pathological liar . Nothing she says can be taken at face value ( first, she was raised Ultra Orthodox Hasidic, then, she has Chabad background, first, her photos were “hacked” then links to EVERY one of her photos , first she signed an arbitration agreeing to raise her kids they way they were raised till then, Then breaking the arbitration on many documented occasions)

    • das torah says:

      can you tell me dates (approx) and for how long she was institutionalized BPD?

      if you can’t i have a problem believing you you just may be spreading allegations!

      • Michael says:

        Of course there are no dates or any real information to back these allegations up. If there were they would have posted it on his FB hating fan page as they have used every other bit of ammo to trash her.

    • abe says:

      Well Said…

    • Talia says:

      Take a moment to observe what you have just written and explain how this is words coming from a religious and respectable jewish person. you have disobeyed countless jewish laws by speaking about another in a negative way and providing unproven information which could be untrue, and therefore lies. i have rarely seen so much hate and judgement coming from a person in my life and of all people someone who claims to be an orthodox jew. Hashem says not to judge another until you have lived every moment of their life, and as that isnt possible, only Hashem is able to judge us. you should be ashamed of yourself and should be sorry that you are giving us jewish people such a bad name and making us feel sorry for the hate coming from you. you should try to be a more peaceful and calm person and take a moment to look in the mirror and make sure your like and decision are absolutely perfect before judging others. i hope you will stop obsessing over others lives and rather study the Torah, which you obviously have been neglecting since you have more pressing matters to spend your time on. i mean no disrespect but i just urge you to snap out of this downwards spiral you are in and try to be a better person.

      • Liza says:

        Exactly. I started to feel a little sick as I read the allegations. This does not glorify G-d. I guess it would be easy to come up with reasons to justify “having ” to say these things, but that is not a good interpretation of the law you are called to obey and cherish.

  5. Sam the Man says:

    1. All the photos come from Ms. Perry’s pages.

    2. Mr. Sinai has no obligation to sit down with Rabbi Boteach as a mediator

    3. Since “Rabbi Boteach” does not have all the facts (i.e. Forensic records and/or witness testimony etc) how can he determine who shall get (even partial) custody.

    4. All the kosher pornography comes from the posting of Ms. Perry onto her websites> Same the man.

  6. sara says:

    the agenda is clear; he refuses to give her the get. Perry has every right to be with her boyfriend. She is not a property!

    • Michael says:


    • hendl74 says:

      My sentiments, thank you. For some ultra Orthodox/Chassids, ANY one who has a boyfriend is the worst sinner ever. I am Jewish, and have had teen babysitters, etc. In their world, Ms. Pearl can do NO RIGHT, and the Frumies can do NO WRONG.

  7. demand a "mekach ta'us" says:

    Quite amazing how a certain very popular news blog decided to have their rabbi in residence debate “Does Tory Burch need a GET?” And there was a tremendous amount of input by commenters to that piece. Like who really cares if Henry, Nicholas or Sawyer (the sons of Christopher Burch) are going to be looking to marry Jewish girls down the road… and are gasp! mamzeirim!!! (Never mind that R’ Moshe Feinstein would rule Tory’s first marriage was not valid due to non- religious eidim, thus no issue. End. Of. Story.)

    But what is shocking is that when it comes to Tory Burch where the issue is moot, all the so-called oiber chachomim decide to give their input, as if anyone was asking. But when it comes to a serious matter, a religious Boro Park/Lakewood woman like Perry Reich living in their own midst, a woman who has been asking for a GET for 5 freaking years… DEAFENING silence.

    When a woman is beaten down by others who are ever more powerful, wanting to control her life and destiny, and put her right in the corner they want to keep her, it is no wonder in order to survive she had to break free from their hypocrisy. (Yes, hypocrites, because NO beis din would keep a man hanging for 5 years if he decides the marriage is “dead.” They would issue a hetter meah rabbanim for the price of approximately $20,000. In other words a GET would be issued without the woman’s input in the matter and the beis din would notify her that she can go retrieve the receipt of the GET whenever she cares to pick it up.)

    Is Perry an adulteress as her husband and his cronies claim? Maybe the rabbis should be discussing whether Perry even needs a GET altogether and whether she is deserving of a mekach ta’us. Based on Sinai Susholz’s claims that Perry suffers from mental illness, he could make a claim in beis din for mekach ta’us (but remember that had he given a GET when asked, this wouldn’t be an issue and we wouldn’t have this serious halachic situation now… but seems he rather continue torturing that poor girl’s soul)…

    But I am beginning to question whether she got the “normal” husband she bargained and contracted for, or does he suffer from mental illness or some other serious matter that had she known in advance to her marriage, she wouldn’t have married him. (I really have to ask here, what really went on in their bedroom? What sort of man goes on for 5 years without wanting to find another woman? What’s his deal? If he claims Perry is sleeping around, I think we ought to take a look at who is sleeping in his bed as well.)

    Whatever the case, it’s time for the Rabbis to agree that it’s time to cut the bonds and let Perry go. The issue is NOT whether she should have her kids based on her being non-religious today. Because it was those rabbis who were the source of her becoming non-religious as they apparently pushed her over the edge (based on the letter published on another website she wrote when her cousin Rivka Holzberg was murdered in India, wherein Perry expresses her inner feelings and beliefs in a moment of great tzaar.)

    Once the toothpaste has been squeezed out of the tube, there’s no putting it back… the damage done by the Rabbis and askonim in this case caused Perry to be where she is, and its time that the Rabbis face up to the fact that their pressure and mean tactics aren’t going to change that.

    I think Perry knows that in the face of heavenly authority, her marriage would be annulled and she is therefore not living in sin. But thanks to the husband Sinai Susholz, her kids are at a dead end if they stay in his world… who wants to marry the son of a so-called zoina? Is that love of a father?

    So when are the Rabbis going to stand up and do right by this family and annul the whole thing? (no, there is no negative status for children born from a marriage that was not consecrated, that is actually a Christian concept.) I was hoping the rabbis would learn from their mistakes and finally initiate some action across the board so that no woman is ever stuck in a hell-hole dead end marriage just as Perry was, again… GEVALD GESHRIGGEN! 5 Freaking years????

    But all I hear is DEAFENING silence… And the sound of rabbis and so-called askonim jerking off to photos.

  8. Creusa says:

    a friend recommended this website to me, he said that your posts are the best so i came to read your post and realized he was right. congratulations for writing so well.

  9. Yaakov says:

    Ms. Reich obviously decided to change her direction later in life, good for her. I hope it goes somewhere healthy and productive. Anger and revenge and not helpful ingredients for a positive outcome, and I hope she keeps those feeling out of the decision making.

    As far as the kids go, if she got married and had kids in an Orthodox setting and now wants to change her life direction, she should leave the kids in the Orthodox setting, accept a visitation agreement, and be on her way. Unless the father is unhealthy and incapable of caring for them, they belong with him. He committed no crime other than marrying someone who was coerced into a marriage by her parents. This mess is not his fault.

    From the larger perspective, parents really need to accept their children for who they are. Forcing children to arrange their lives, be it yeshiva, seminary, work, kollel, shidduchim, life choices, according to the personal desires of the parents and how they wish to appear is unhealthy and counterproductive. The time eventually comes when kids say “I can’t live this fake life just to fit the image my parent(s) prefer to portray.”

    This story could have went down very differently. Pearl could have married someone who she actually belonged with. And while her parents might have had some adjusting to do when introducing their “moderne eidem” to others at a simcha, they would most probably have today, a healthy happy daughter with healthy happy family.

    Nobody should judge her personally. She was victim to one of the most horrendous experiences possible, and it is precisely experiences like these which drive a person to resent not only those involved but everything they stand for and everyone they stand with.

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